The aim of this study was to investigate child health nurses' experiences of routinely asking fathers about violence, focusing on how they relate to the two Swedish gender equality goals of achieving equal parenting and ending domestic violence. Focus group interviews with ten nurses were performed. The results show that nurses strongly support routinely asking fathers about violence in child healthcare. However, few fathers disclosed ongoing abuse directed towards them or the child, and none talked about being abusive to a current or former partner. Thus, the conversations on violence seldom resulted in information that required an intervention from the nurses to protect a child. The nurses nonetheless found asking about violence an important preventive measure, although riddled with ambiguity regarding whether fathers were possible victims or perpetrators. This study highlights a difficulty for nurses to balance between the two gender equality goals where fathers should, on the one hand, be as involved as mothers in parenting, and are, on the other hand, potential perpetrators of violence against women and of domestic violence. However, the principle of equal parenting seems to take precedence; the gendered aspects of domestic violence tend to disappear, and fathers are being constructed as mainly non-violent.